Yesterday I worked on a blog post by Eileen Carter Campos, titled Fat or skinny, I love myself.  If you have body image issues or want to teach your children how to love themselves and everybody else regardless of weight or size, I recommend you read the post. Eileen had me at “I know I´m fat and I´m ok with it.”

I grew up feeling inadequate about myself, and developed an eating disorder, which I wrote about in my first book: I Feel Fat. It´s taken me a lifetime to love my body, my hair, my fingernails, my soul … and yet it´s not a 24/7 kind of love. Most women have to exercise self-love and remind ourselves often that we´re ok, just the way we are. 

I wish I´d had a parent, a teacher, a friend, like our contributor EIleen. Her students are happy to have her in the classroom, to model self-acceptance and diversity in every aspect. 

By Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing editor of VOXXI MUJER @lorrainecladish @voxximujer
 

Our blogger Tracy Lopez wrote this week about why female friendship is vital to women. Female friendship is cheaper than therapy, for one, as it allows us to vent and not feel judged or fixed (for example, by a man).

However, there is also a downside to friendship - we talk about friends as if they will always be there, but not all are. Sometimes, as I’ve experienced this past week, a friendship is terminated. In the Facebook era, a face to face, years-long friendship can be killed by clicking “block.” 

In such a case, there is no doubt about it - you are banished (or you have banished someone) from at least one of your social media circles. And you get the point, immediately. 

So, how do we mourn the end of a friendship? Not one that dwindled away, or ended because of death. A friendship that was terminated after an argument. I am thinking about it, and will publish the result of my musings on VOXXI.COM. 

By Lorraine C. Ladish Managing Editor of VOXXI Mujer @voxximujer @lorrainecladish

I didn’t realize the vast importance of grandparents in divorce until I experienced my own break-up with kids in tow. That’s why today I published in VOXXI Mujer my take on it. 

I often wonder - if my ex and I are able to have a civil relationship - why do our parents have to interfere with that, and mess it up for our kids?

Perhaps because I was an older mom - I had my first kid at 37 and the second at 40 - I am fortunately able to leave my own issues with my former in-laws aside and allow and even promote my kids’ relationship with them. That does not mean that I like the grandparents. It means that I believe it is important for my children to feel free to love their abuelos, the way it’s meant to be. 

I don’t expect or want my former in-laws to like me. If they didn’t when I was married, why would it get any better now? However, by dissing me in front of my kids, they are creating a feeling of unease in their grandkids, that does not benefit anyone. The losers are the children, as usual, and in this case the grandparents too, because in the end people remember how you made them feel. And kids - who will later be grownups - may not embrace those who created inner turmoil in them.

If this sounds like I’m hurt, so be it, because anything that hurts my kids, hurts me. This is, after all our behind-the-scenes at VOXXI: the real deal.

by Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing Editor of VOXXIMujer @voxximujer @lorrainecladish

Today on VOXXI Mujer we published a blog by Miguel Santana, a Cuban immigrant who discovered the shopping haven that the United States is. 

If you are U.S. born and raised, then it may seem odd to you to find out that comparison shopping is not as common in other countries, because there are not as many options as we have here.

When Miguel bought his first pair of Levi’s full price and then found them at a fraction of the price tag at Marshall’s, he felt ripped off. Now he shares his tips to find a fashion deal in the U.S.!

By Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing Editor of VOXXI Mujer @voxximujer

This week in VOXXI Mujer we featured a very honest post by Laura Carbonell, on what it´s like to overcome an addiction. Clean and sober for 20 years now, Laura tells how hard it was to quit, and how she hit rock bottom before she could climb out.

Addictions affect not only the sufferer but their family and friends, who often become enablers without realizing it. They also suffer from codependency, which means they are controlled and at the same time try to control the addict or alcoholic. 

It is hard to have an addict in your life, and it´s hard to be one. The addict often realizes that he or she needs help. But the family and friends seldom know that they need help too. That´s why experts recommend that both the addict and their loved ones go to therapy. And that´s why there is AA for alcoholics, NA for addicts, and Al-anon or CODA for their families.

I strongly recommend Al-Anon. It can save your own sanity while you continue to help the addict in your life. CODA, or Codependents Anonymous, is also a good place for you to go. I´ve been in those meetings, and I know they help.

By Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing Editor of VOXXI Mujer @voxximujer

Yesterday was the official launch of our site, www.voxxi.com, for acculturated Hispanics or Latinos. In order to present my section: VOXXIMujer, I wrote a post about what being Latino means in the U.S..

But the real question is - if you consider yourself Latino, are you Latino enough? It´s tough sometimes being a mutt, a mix of cultures and ethnicities, a blend of languages and mindsets. 

I was very embarrassed by my Spanish heritage when I was a child. I´m so glad that my kids are proud of theirs! I now embrace it all, my Spanish side, my American side, the acquired Latina mentality and the love for all things diverse.

I hope this moves you to read the article and leave a comment. It´s not for me, mind you, but for all those Latinos and Latinas out there who are struggling with their identity.

By Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing Editor of VOXXIMujer @lorrainecladish @voxximujer

I would only watch the Super Bowl if my Steelers played. Last year, they did and they lost, but a few years before, they won. 

Why the Steelers? My mother is from Pittsburgh and my eldest daughter is a Steelers fan since she got her first Steelers T-Shirt when she was born!

Last year I watched the Soccer World Cup because Spain was in it (and we won!!!!!), and that´s my other nationality. So, I only watch sports when my heart is in the team for some reason.

This week, our contributor for VOXXI Mujer Veronique De Miguel wrote a post, a last minute guide for the Super Bowl, in case you are watching it and have no clue of what is going on out on the field. We all know what goes on at half-time for better or for worse.

I recommend you read it if, like me, you only watch the Super Bowl when your fave team is playing, but you don´t really ¨get¨ the sport!

By Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing Editor of VOXXI Mujer @VOXXIMujer

Today on VOXXI Mujer we published a story by Dr. D.C. Basset, that addresses the very important issue of raising bilingual kids.

As a mother I know it´s a struggle, even more so when you are not always surrounded by the second language you are trying to teach your kids. I am one of those bilinguals that are now also known as ambilinguals (perhaps after “ambidextrous”) meaning I am proficient in both. 

I also don´t think one of them is dominant over the other in my brain. But of course this is because I speak, read and write in English and Spanish since I was a child, and I attended a bilingual school. 

Even if I had nothing else going for me, being bilingual allowed me to make a good living in my younger years as a simultaneous interpreter and a translator. I consider this to be a gift. 

Being bilingual makes you more open-minded, more accepting of other cultures, more curious, and it also allows you to think and grasp more concepts, some of which do not have a translation, because the concept does not exist in other cultures. 

I admit I am struggling to make my own kids bilingual. I would love for them to be able to speak, read and write in both languages, as I do. 

But there are no bilingual public schools where I live and I cannot afford a private school. I do speak to them in Spanish, but I also have to coach them with their homework in English. It´s not easy, it isn´t. But it´s also not impossible. I’m not giving up!

By Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing Editor of VOXXIMujer @lorrainecladish

This week VOXXIMujer contributor Silvia Casabianca wrote a blog about older women having less but more satisfying sex than those who have not yet arrived at menopause.

This is encouraging to those of us dealing with perimenopause, since we are faced with the fear of losing our sex drive after we say goodbye to our menstrual period forever. 

Younger women think of sex in terms of penetration and orgasm, says Casabianca, whereas older women are more focused on foreplay and a mental and emotional connection with their partner. 

That’s great news! We can look forward to less sexual pressure and more pleasure!

By Lorraine C. Ladish, Managing Editor of VOXXIMujer